Whether you are a first timer or experienced, one of the most important rituals for you will be negotiation.
Negotiation plays an important role as it eliminates any possible misunderstandings
for the participants.
Before the scene
Many find it essential to arrange a pre-meeting negotiation. In a situation when
partners know little or nothing about each other, negotiation is a
good way to clarify all the peculiarities of the forthcoming session ... so that the
expectations of both parties will be met.
In fact, negotiation in BDSM
resembles the usual way people get familiar with each other's interests.
One of the most important aspects of negotiation is honesty about what you
expect from your partner and what you can give. In this regard, communication
about the most important details of the scene allows you to dispel
The usual way partners negotiate is by using a
negotiation form, where all these details are structured in a list to make a
During the scene
As a rule, all the important matters had
been already negotiated before a scene starts.
the scene, code words and signs are used to communicated important things
without breaking the scene. For example a 'safe word' is a word you use to tell
the mistress to ease up ... so if you chose the safe word 'oranges' and during
the scene things are starting to go a little too far .. you say 'oranges' and
the mistress will back off without having to stop the scene.
After the scene
It is also quite essential to communicate after the end of the scene and not
just abruptly close it. The usual follow up may include discussing such things
as best moments of the scene, worse parts of the scene, and suggestions on the
next scene. This helps to clarify all the issues and come to a better
understanding of each other.
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